Monday, April 23, 2012

How to knock out self esteem.
Well lovely ladies, for the girls out there that feel very self conscious I have a couple tips to help you feel a bit better about your appearance.
To start off, you ARE NOT ugly. You just aren't. No stop it, I can tell someone of you might be thinking I am only saying that because I haven't seen your face but that is a lie. Ladies, everyone has a different idea of beauty and a lot of girls were not born with what they consider beautiful, but that does not mean you are not beautiful by any means. Many people feel that others do not find them beautiful, but I will tell you right now that plenty of people do. I know from personal experience, it is hard to just go up to a girl and say "HEY! you are gorgeous!" because we all get shy. Now imagine the times people have said that you look nice, including family and friends. Take that and add in at least one extra person who didn't say it or more. Now you have at least doubled the amount of people who you can safely say think you are pretty. 
1. Find little things you like or force yourself to like more things about you. Even if it is as dumb as being glad that the skin on your elbow isn't gross, it is a start! They do not have to be perfect things and they do not have to compare to the best of the best but as long as you can admire something about them then you are on the right track. Look at that thing more often,show it off or tell people you like it. Don't be afraid to be open about it. From that find more little things, break down the fixed ideas that society gives you about beauty and like what you like. Soon enough you will love your body and face a lot more then you did before.
2. Take action. Try to change what you can by natural means. By that I mean no surgery or similar things. If you hate your hair then go to a salon. If you have bad skin try acne medications until you find one that works for you(I recommend proactive), If you don't like your size then either work out or eat more. Even the problem most girls these days have, Being uncomfortable about breast size, can be helped with soy products and reduced caffeine. You can change the look of your face with makeup if you like as well.
3. Spend some time on just yourself. Do things you like for your body, face or mind. Paint your nails, dye your hair, go shopping, do crafts, do whatever makes you feel happy or good about yourself.
4. Change something. Try a new hair style, color or cut. Get some new clothes or a whole new wardrobe. Let all of your fears of others thinking badly of you free and do what YOU wanted to do but were afraid of doing or try something totally new!
5. Look for people who support you. There are appreciation blogs and sites out there for everything, even the things you do not like about yourself. Look for these and if they have the option submit yourself! The more you realize that people do like what you have the better.
6. This step is the most important, love yourself. Let all the negative ideas about you that you have go and just realize that what you have really is great. Don't let anyone tell you differently.
7. Be happy. Yes it is so true, when you cheer yourself up would will always look so much better on the outside, no fail.

It's true, men get self conscious just like girls. My tips for you are generally the same as the girls ones minus the beauty salon and makeup options but I do have some extra tips. Please read the girls section and pretend that the girly stuff was never mentioned. Now, I will address the simple points that many guys get very upset about when it comes to their bodies. 
1. Muscles or a "manly" build is not needed. I can not tell you how many guys think that because they are not totally built that they are unattractive. Well that is NOT true. Many male models actually do not have a completely built body either and people go crazy about them.Not to mention I know all too many people who prefer guys who are larger as really it is pretty damn cute. So weather you are larger or very skinny, you have no need to feel unattractive as many people do prefer what you have.
2. Stop feeling as if you need to prove to your friends or the people you like that you are one hell of a manly man who is so manly in the most manly man why possible. Really what is the point of that? It will not get you all too far and it really does not matter who can lift the most weight or can drink the most beer before puking. These contests will only make you feel worse.
3. Take care of yourself more then a lot of guys might. Not all guys do this but I must say a lot do, they don't put any effort into them self at all. You do not need to look like you are trying either! Simple things like nice clothing, conditioned hair and nice skin go a long way for guys. I do not know a single person who thinking "A guy with wiry hair and dirty clothes" is the best thing ever. You don't need to be perfect but the little bit can go a long way.
I hope everyone feels a bit better from reading that and following the tips. No one should feel bad about their appearance because no matter what you are not ugly. You just aren't!

Keep in mind, I am not the worlds best person to give advice on this, do not think I am. I just want to help some people out a little if I can and it is all well intended. Good luck on your road to being happier with yourself and your appearance! You deserve to feel good!
Have a nice day! 

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